Sunday, August 12, 2007

Long time no post.....

I have been busy, very busy, not only with home life, but with a beloved mentor's death, Shekhinah Mountainwater, author of Ariadne's Thread, has crossed the veil.

Now left behind is what could dissolve into chaos. Even before she died there were members of the community trying to get control over some of her lists, and tauted long relationships with her. But I found it funny, that for all their supposed closeness to Shekhinah, that in the last six months to a year, when she was practically begging for helpers with her online community, they remained silent. As silent as her quickly approaching death.

Those of us who just want to see her work continue are being chastised for not grieving enough. Me? not grieving enough??? I have been on the phone with her many times a week until she decided to end her fight and pass on. I was there working in the background while they were silent.

But I don't want what they want. I don't want to try to be Shekhinah, or even her stand in. I just want to continue to do her work as she asked me to do. Not with power over anyone, just do my job. And for this I am called unfeeling.

I think the unfeeling ones are those who are trying to jump into positions of power, without regard to what Shekhinah said she wanted done. Those are the unfeeling ones. But they are also the ones making a big show of their grief on the lists.

That just makes me sick. I don't know if I can deal with it. I would sooner walk away than see her work disintegrate into petty power struggles by members who want things their way and are quite willing to be the squeaky wheel, whining about how they cant do the work of the list, yet seem to have lots of energy to shout their grief from not only our lists, but every list, including Witchvox there is on the Internet.

So for now my hands are tied, I cant preform my duties or I am evil, and if ppl like that gain control, I will be gone. And then I doubt the lists will last more than six months with folks like that in control.

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